Tag: obesity

We Are Born Racists

by jcafesin, posted in parenting, psychology, racism, raising kids, sexism

We are ALL racists. Every human being on the planet is BORN a racist.

NO! you’re screaming at me. BULLSHIT, you whacked-out bitch. I am not a racist!

Racism is taught, not inherent to our nature is the common wisdom. And while it’s true racism, hate, fear can be taught by parents, community, schools, religious leaders, and conservative media, we are all born, to varying degrees, racists.

Mammals, the genome to which Humans belong, are born with an innate FEAR of THE OTHER — anything outside what is familiar to us. And this fear manifests as RACISM, and SEXISM, and NATIONALISM.

“FEAR of THE OTHER” should be the universal definition of racism. And humans manifest our fear in a variety of ways. Some, their fear is so overwhelming, their ignorance so great, it aligns with HATE, and they are violent against THE OTHER.

But sometimes, when our fear is acknowledged, and then examined, it motivates us to learn about THE OTHER. Only then, do we discover that regardless of color, or even gender, we are not so different. We all FEEL the same feelings.

BULLSHIT, you calling me out again. You don’t know how it FEELS to be Black.

You’re right. I’m White. But I know what it FEELS like to be dissed. I grew up overweight in chic L.A. I was the butt of fat jokes through elementary and middle school. I never got asked out on a date until I dropped the weight in my senior year of high school. And while I am now in “good shape,” I will go to my grave feeling fat. I will never fit in to the world where thin is the only way to be “in.” And I know what it FEELS like living forever on the outside wishing to be in.

So what if you were fat, you say. You lost the weight. Skinny or fat, I can’t stop being Asian, or gay.

And I am a woman. I know what it FEELS like being judged as lesser than because I am not a man. I know how it FEELS to be making two-thirds the salary of the guy next to me doing the exact same job. My first job out of college as an art director for a major jewelry manufacturer, the CEO of the company came into my first big meeting and grabbed my breast instead of my outstretched hand. He squeezed my tit like it was an orange and said, “Nice!” I know how it FEELS to be objectified for my body alone.

Being disrespected makes me FEEL valueless, ashamed, awkward, angry, mystified, enraged, scared, small, sad. And all these negative feelings manifest inside each of us when we are dissed. The fact is, Black, White, Fat or not, we’ve all experienced each of these feelings independently, or simultaneously, regardless if we are consciously aware of them. Each of us may react to our feelings differently, but most all of us are intimate with feeling dissed.

Most of us are also intimate with feeling happy, engaged [in a pleasing activity], safe, content in moments. Our reasons for feeling these things may vary, though not as much as you think. The love of a parent, guardian or friend, the comfort of a home, full bellies from tasty food makes most of us FEEL good. The intensity of our feelings varies wildly from person to person. Some enjoy positive feelings far more often than others born with internal angst, or into external misfortune. But the feelings of HAPPY and SAD, GOOD and BAD, PROUD and ASHAMED, EMPOWERED and DISSED are common to all of us.

Being alive means FEELING. The enormous, complex range of feelings we get to experience, both body and mind, is exclusively Human. The capacity of our brain power is what separates us from every other living creature on this planet. And while we all have different experiences, feeling the same things provides a natural bridge to unite us, a window for empathy, even camaraderie through our shared feelings.

We are all born racists. You, me, all humans are born with an innate fear of THE OTHER. Once again, we are standing on the precipice of change, Racism and Sexism the topics de jour. Perhaps this time, we will get off the politically correct train, admit we are all racists and choose to fight our innate fear of THE OTHER. We’ll acknowledge the benefits of integration and globalization as an opportunity to learn from the best of each other. We’ll not only believe in, but practice equal rights.

Stand up, or take a knee, but SPEAK OUT against hate, and educate the ignorant that there really are no substantive differences between us — not color, not culture, not gender, not religious or sexual preference, because most all humans being FEEL the same things.

Why NOT to Be Proud You’re Fat

by jcafesin, posted in Uncategorized

#Litchat hosted an author on Twitter who’d recently written a book about being proud to be obese. The author tweeted of being 310 pounds on her 5′ 5” frame. She touted that she was in “great shape, healthy and happy.” Others joined in and congratulated her on finally accepting herself for being fat.

And I had a problem with that.

Annoyed with the conversation, and the politically correct, yet ignorant people stroking the author’s ego with praise, I joined in the dialog.

I tweeted: “As a society, we need to stop making excuses for poor diet and giving into every whim. Self-discipline is key, not self-acceptance.”

The author tweeted back: “I can’t help being fat.”

The following 5 tweets were from the politically correct folks slamming me for being rude to the author.

My next tweet to the author: “Are you one of the less than 2% with a thyroid problem or other medical condition to account for being overweight?”

The author didn’t respond, but the PC tweeters did: “Why so intolerant and provoking to the guest author @jcafesin?” This was retweeted at least 5 times.

While it’s politically correct to have ‘tolerance’ for fat people, it serves only the PC tweeters— helps them look kindly at themselves in the mirror, assure themselves that they are ‘good’ people. But are they? Promoting acceptance of bad/destructive behavior has led to an increase in U.S. obesity prevalence from 30.5% in 2000 to 41.9% by 2020. During this same time period, the prevalence of severe obesity increased from 4.7% to 9.2%.

We all know the facts on obesity. If you don’t, here’s just a few from the CDC: 

● Obesity-related conditions include heart disease, stroke, Type-2 diabetes, and certain types of cancer, some of the leading causes of preventable death.

● Obese people generally have compromised immune systems that lead to chronic inflammation, metabolic abnormalities, and they’re more likely to contract pandemic influenza, including Covid-19.

● The estimated annual medical cost of obesity in the U.S. was nearly $173 billion in 2019. Medical costs for adults who had obesity were $1,861 higher than medical costs for people with healthy weight.

● Childhood obesity has more than doubled in children and quadrupled in adolescents in the past 30 years.

● Children and adolescents who are obese are at greater risk for diabetes, cancer, Covid-19, bone and joint problems, sleep apnea, as well as social and psychological problems.

● Obese children are likely to become obese adults.

While the politically correct tweeters strive to appear tolerant, they are, in fact, promoting bad behavior by accepting the author’s premise that being fat is just dandy. Accepting obesity inadvertently teaches our children that there’s nothing wrong with being fat. But this is a lie. Promoting self-acceptance of obesity, instead of teaching self-discipline— good eating habits and daily exercise— allows our kids to continue being lazy and making poor eating choices, thus damning them to a host of health problems throughout their lives.

The cost of medical insurance is based on demand of medical services. The more demand, the higher the cost we all pay, fat or not. Every one of us is paying the price to care for medical problems that arise from being obese, from treatment of heart disease, to cancer, to Covid-19.

Google returned 38,200 results for ‘books on “proud to be fat.”‘ Proud to be Fat is a powerful, though misguided movement, spawned by either overweight and/or politically correct people looking to feel good about themselves whatever they do, or choose to be. The Litchat guest author of the proud to be fat book, and the PC tweeters that attacked me copped an attitude that I was cruel and prejudice with my first comment. This too is misguided. I have been fat, spent my youth eating in front of the TV, so of course I was overweight. Growing up in chic L.A., I was bullied and rejected until I lost weight in my junior year of high school. I have struggled with self-discipline my entire life, but it’s a fight worth waging. I am healthier, physically and mentally now that I am in shape.

Contrary to the PC tweets, it IS the author’s fault that she is fat, assuming she is disease free. If I’d had the support of other tweeters, my comments could have been construed as refreshing, enlightening, even rather freeing. My tweet responses, and subsequent healthy suggestions could have empowered her with the knowledge she could, in fact, change— workout, eat right, and really get fit.

Social media is filled with politically correct tweeters, Facebook updaters, bloggers…etc., that tow the PC line, generally serving themselves and no one else. The internet is an incredibly powerful communication tool. For the first time in history it’s providing us a method to individually reach the masses, in which we can effectively help each other be better, smarter, healthier, reach our creative and compassionate potential. But we have to be willing to go out on a limb, stand alone among the hordes of the self-serving ignorant and promote the truth.