Friends come and go, but is FAMILY really forever? The day my father called to tell me my mom had cancer, I hung up the phone, turned to my husband and said, “Well, that's the end of my family.” I said it, but I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, though I … Continue reading Letting Go of Family
What is Your Purpose in Living? Christians and Muslims (actual believers, not in name only because they celebrate Christmas or Eid al-Fitr) believe the purpose of living is to serve and reflect their God’s will to ensure their assent to heaven after death. Jews focus on the present rather than an afterlife. They believe humans … Continue reading The Purpose of Life
“I saw someone die today, Mom,” my daughter told me on the phone, her voice four octaves higher than normal, like she’d been sucking on helium. “Where are you?” I heard street noise in the background. “I’m on the 101. I’m driving home from the hospital.” Again, her voice was...off—too high, too cheery. “I saw … Continue reading On Raising a Doctor
Typically, on Sunday mornings my husband and I share articles from the New York Times. He’ll often read me pieces while I prepare breakfast or vice versa, and we’ll discuss the ones that pique our interest. The year-end edition of the Sunday Magazine runs detailed obituaries on a handful of famous and infamous people who … Continue reading Do You Matter?
How do you get good at anything? Practice. How do you get great? Obsession — Practice most all the time. Pick any famous author, artist, or musician, and they’ll all have obsession in common. And while we, the public, enjoy the fruits of their creative labors, those closest to these individuals were/are generally left wanting more … Continue reading The Price of Brilliance
My husband and I raised our children without religion. We gave them no religious identity (as in claiming to be Christian or Jewish because of our parentage). We are both devout atheists, and I use the term devout with purpose. We don’t believe in a higher power, or any gods, or even the possibility of one. We are … Continue reading Raising Kids without Religion
Spent my life looking in at the world I live, but never ‘fitting in’... Ever been with a group of people, and everyone is talking amicably, (or on their cellphones), and you’re sitting there watching and listening, and you feel like an alien? Not a foreign national among a group of natives. More like you’re … Continue reading Outside Looking In
I’m no longer, and will never again be my kids’ demigod... I wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Have 2. Adopt 1. I was absolutely sure I could raise them better than my mom [and dad]. I’d give them ground instead of ripping it away with critical judgments. I’d show my love … Continue reading Empty-Nesting IRL
My husband caught his married CEO kissing an employee, setting the Butterfly Effect in motion... “I’m screwed,” my husband said, calling me from his job at a well-known Silicon Valley startup. He’d entered the stairwell and saw the married CEO of his company sucking face with an employee. He had a right to be upset. The CEO is putting … Continue reading The Butterfly Effect
With everything given something is owed. With everything given something, not the same thing, is owed. With everything given—a kindness, one’s time, efforts on your behalf—you owe that person. I write it three times because most people DON’T GET IT, or worse, refuse to believe it. It’s easier to receive than reciprocate. Denying or ignoring … Continue reading With Everything Given, Something is Owed
